Sorry, I can't hangout. My uncle's cousin's sister in law's best friend's insurance agent's roommate's pet goldfish died. It was tragic.
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Love is a fire. Whether it will warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.
The girl of my dreams spoke to me last night and confirmed she’s not planning on making an appearance into my real life any time soon.
Whenever I lock my car up I always press the remote lock button twice in a row to let all nearby thieves know that I mean business.
Some people say I’m a dreamer, others say, “If you fall asleep at work again we’re going to have to let you go.
I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
There are five types of fear.
1. terror / panic
2. insufficent funds
3. 14 missed calls from mom
4. username or password is incorrect
5. we need to talk
They’ve got this brand new machine at the gym. I only used it for about an hour because I started to feel sick, but it’s awesome – it’s got Mars Bars, KitKat Chunkys, Cheetos, crisps…. everything!